Facebook > Excerpts from Kate's Blog by Jennifer Bundy

Posted this on my tumblr a while back, although I feel like it needs to be posted here as well:

Jenn compiled a list of bits of my blog from the summer. I had forgotten about many of these moments, and I am shaking with laughter reading them. Ones that make me almost pee my pants are bolded. They are even more hilarious taken our of context and standing alone. I had a good summer.

“When we got to the Pearl we just drove around for a bit, and we found a building on fire, and that was exciting. Although immediately afterwards both of us wanted barbeque…

So after we ate the brownies, Jenn went to town on the chocolate sauce with her straw while Eddy and I watched and laughed. Once she finished that one, a waiter who wasn’t even ours brought her another. She ate that one as well.

We followed him there and the whole way there and I was thinking “where the hellll is he taking usssssss.”

And, being a Thursday, Jenn and I went to the Pearl. We met up with Josh who bought us Joose, but the AP was out of Red, so he got me orange. Honestly, the orange tasted like the smell of our laundry room the time Liam played outside in the rain with shoes and socks on, then the socks mildewed at the bottom of the laundry hamper without anyone noticing. I was gagging trying to drink it.

Then I think the flannel shirt I was wearing tonight impaired my speech. I was talking like a redneck accidentally, then my sober speech was slurring so badly I sounded black, even using words such as “fiddy” instead of “fifty.”

Adam went to the AP for us and got me a Joose.

I ran downstairs and waited for her, and one of the valet guys was standing on the corner smoking, and watching me bounce from foot to foot waiting on Jenn. When she finally got there I was helping her out of the car and he said in very broken English, “Is this your best friend?” which is a weird thing to ask someone in general. He continues to creep me out.

We tried to huddle underneath the umbrella and run at the same time. It ended up making me run like a sideways hunchback and Jenn was doing some weird sideways crab walk.

We rounded the corner and then the music started playing. I literally threw my umbrella out of excitement.

Jenn reminded me of God’s best invention: a pretzel dog.

Apparently one of the guys that lives there’s mom owns an antique store, and the house was full of cool stuff. It was just like Jenn’s room, but in house form.

Last night, Jenn and I spent quite some time chasing Joe’s cat, Titties, around his house.

“This feels right.”
Jenn replied, “Kate, holding hands with you is like eating a muffin that was in the oven for 5 minute too long. Or like playing with playdoh that was left in the sun all day.” Jenn and I ended up sitting on the ground almost in tears

Jenn picked me up and we began our Adventure of the Evening. We were going to go to Kickbacks for a while, but we wanted to find someone to get us Joose.

Felicia said they don’t card at the gas station, so I sent Jenn in to try her luck. Fail.

One guy was walking towards the car, and he was waving the whole time. We waved back thinking, “ooohh he’s drunk.” Then he walked right at the car and opened my door. Jenn and I both screamed bloody murder. He just said, “oh” and closed the door.

Then he just took it off and said, “Here, it shouldn’t smell too bad” and just gave it to me.

What about him flipping on us? We stood in silence for a minute and he said, out of nowhere, “You know it is true what they say about black men.” And I just pretended not to hear, but then he practically screamed it. I was just like, “Oh really.”

Jenn came back and dressed him and sent him on his way.

Once we were there, safe and sound, Jenn got a quesadilla. I don’t feel like you should ever get food at a place where everyone is supposed to be drunk.

Right when we left my house Jonathan said something like, “I can’t see.” And immediately Jenn and I both yelled, “I cant see I cant breathe I gotta get the candy!”

We stopped at a gas station on the way there, and I had my very first Joose experience.

I am still piecing together last night. I do remember, very well, at one point last night Jenn and I had been dancing outside, and we went inside to get some water, but she ended up sitting on the ground while I poured my water all over her. I am not sure why, nor do I really care to know. But we thought nothing of it at the time.

She was wearing a fanny pack and Jenn tried to buy it from her.

Jenn’s aunt has a stall there selling wheat grass.

he brought us inside and gave us towel and pretended like it was completely alright for us to be inside, all the whole looking very concerned.

So at Walgreen’s we bought flannel PJ pants and huge tee shirts. We changed in the bathroom and looked hilarious trying to scurry out of the bathroom and back to our bikes without being seen. Although that failed, since we saw the whole world.

On the way to the party we stopped at Walgreens to get some jellybeans

“Oh wait. Here’s your candy.” Then handed her some beach toys and said “and your toys.”

Last night right after I posted Jenn came over and we hung out for a while and figured out who some people in her phonebook are.

Jenn and I were swimming at one point and talking about apparently strippers at the Dollhouse make around $1000 a night. I don’t think that’s right, and I said, “Well its only $5 for them to get naked.” And Jenn said “Also its like $30 for a 3 minute lap dance.” And then we remembered that we were surrounded by children and there was this mother right next to us and it was very awkward. We just… swam away…

Jenn sleeps on this couch a lot.

We finally got to TSI and Jenn was changing her clothes so I peed in the corner of the parking lot.

When he talked he got so close our noses touched and I had nowhere to back up. When we were done playing he asked me “so you want my number or what?” haha ew. Jenn came over and we just laughed at him. We decided to go dance and left him then all of the sudden he was creeping right behind us.

Tonight we went to the Pearl. Beforehand we were on our usual Joose run, but this time I was ten times sketchier than it normally is. Of course, with Ashley with us. We scared her. We drove around for a bit trying to find Amber around Avondale. We eventually met up with her at Fishweir Park.

But about 2 minutes after we sat down, the waiter from last night brought Jenn a little thing of Chocolate syrup with a straw. It was hilarious, but she was embarrassed. We rang in her birthday with chocolate milk and our favorite waiter. It was good times.”

Five Things

I stole this from Ashley. Couldn't resist.

Five Things You Are Addicted To-
One: Art
Two: My phone
Three: Ankhs
Four: Typography
Five: V8 Fusion

Five Places You Want To Visit Before You Die-
One: Chernobyl
Two: Auschwitz/Dakau
Three: Portland, Oregon
Four: St. Petersburg, Russia (again)
Five: Aswan, Egypt (again)

Five Random Things Around You-
One: Chung Mung cup
Two: Frankenstein painting
Three: A post-it reading "Dear Kate, I want to have your babies. Love, Anonymous"
Four: Tupperware container full of Smart Start cereal
Five: Dark purple nail polish.

Five Random Things That Start With The Same Letter As Your First Name-
One: kaleidoscope
Two: kismet
Three: knee
Four: kilt
Five: kangaroo

Five Things That Always Cheer You Up-
One: Swinging
Two: Printmaking
Three: Cuddling
Four: Watching Psych
Five: Watching You've Got Mail

Five Animals You’d Want As Pets, But Can’t Have-
One: Panda
Two: Wolf
Three: Alligator
Four: Great white shark
Five: Koala

Five Things You Would Do If Fiction Were Real-
One: Have magic powers, Harry Potter style
Two: Fly
Three: Have extra appendages
Four: Never have to sleep again
Five: The power to will my hair to do what I want it to.