Lack O'Blogging

So I am sitting in the Five Points Theater right now, seeing Sherlock Holmes for the third time and i feel like any second now Rob is going to slap me upside the head and tell me to pay attention or to drink my beer. When the beer next to me is horrid and I'd like to pretend it's not sitting there. This post is going to have a slew of typos as I am sitting in the theater and typing fast and barely looking at the keyboard.

Anyways, since I last posted I have come home and been home for about a week. My drive home was horrid. I left on Friday right after an exam instead of leaving Saturday and staying at Britt's for a night or so. I ended up driving through my blizzard on my way to South Carolina. Driving through it was a horrible idea. I wish I would be exaggerating when I say that I am shocked I made it alive. First, there was the weather. Snow and ice everywhere, and all of the cars. It was a nightmare. Second, I hadn't slept on three days. I was not only falling asleep at the wheel, but hallucinating. I spent a good twenty miles convinced the car in front of me was Frankenstein running away from me.

I got home last Saturday and just slept, I think. I can't really remember what I did in the next dew days besides Christmas shopping out the wazoo.

Jenn came home on Wednesday I think and that night we went to Square One, where I think I met my future husband. Although I didn't get his name or anything. He was an art dealer and an iPhone app developer. So he said. Jenn and I had a jolly time at Square One and hung out for a while after.

Thursday was Christmas Eve. I went to my dads and met Kathleen's entire family. My new step sister is like 40. The whole night was horrible. No one would talk to me. Every time I got settled in a room everyone would leave. My step sister's husband was a dick. And I got the ugliest Christmas gifts ever. My dad and Kathleen got everyone PJs to wear for Christmas and mine were hot pink with frogs. Seriously?! My dad and uncle Tim got blue plaid PJs. I want those. It was nice to have Tim and Peg there, since I haven't seen them in about eight years. Tim is hilarious and we have the same sense of humor so we get along well. It was fun to see him interact with the new family because they didn't know how to react to anything he would say. And he's always drunk, in a non-alcoholic way, so that's a plus.

Christmas day was very good, after I left my dads and got home. I got lots of clothes and books and gift arcs for Saks, Neiman Marcus, and Bloomingdales worth $1500 so I can do some damage with those. That night Corbett and I went to see Sherlock Holmes, my first time. It was amazing. And now, watching it for the third time, it's still amazing.

The day after Christmas we thought it would be a good idea to go shopping at the town center, and we were wrong. It was swamped. Worse than black Friday. I saw a bunch of people from EHS and just ran off and avoided talking to any of them, aside from Kristin Otterson.

That night Jenn and I went to Kickbacks and the old man that's always there came over and gave us out menus and it was hilarious and adorable. After Kickbacks we got ready to go to TSI, then went to Adams for a bit. We hung out around TSI, I peed in a alley behind a dumpster then we went inside. This was Saturday and it was dead. We were in the front dancing for a bit when Jenn got on stage to explore and found an ice cold, unopened 20oz PBR. Naturally I slipped it under my super stylish sweatshirt I was wearing an boogied off and we drank it in the bathroom. Good god I can't wait until I'm 21. We left TSI and went to the Casbah with Corbett for a bit, then to Shanty Town where not much was going on since it was about these in the morning.

Last night Jenn and I had dinner at Kickbacks where we saw MC and ge bought us dinner. Our dear Ron Burgundy rubbed my back lovingly while taking our orders, making me feel loved and safe with his adorable father-like presence. After we left Kickbacks we rode our bikes around Riverside and saw Sherlock Holmes. After getting coffee and bile lights and sitting at Starbucks for a while we went back to Kickbacks for dessert, then home.

Today I just ran errands, and had dinner with Rob at the Loop. Then we went to O'Brothers for some drinks before coming to the theater.

Time to actually watch the movie and drink this heinous beer. Woo.

Day 73 - Trickery, Rob, Kevin

I woke up this morning to trickery. My phone rang, waking me up, and I saw it was my dad. "Come over we are making chocolate fondue!" Alright, how am I supposed to pass that one up? I scurried on over there, and then as I am pulling in I see it: Kathleen's car in the driveway. So I was tricked into spending the morning with her. Great.

Rob and I went to the Loop for lunch. Then he got a ca rwash. That's pretty much all we do anymore. It's getting pretty pathetic. We need to actually do something soon.

Tonight I finally saw Harry Potter. Kevin took me to see that, and it was really good. I am sick of everyone saying it was really bad because it didn't follow the book. But really, if he movies were going to follow the books, the movies would be 10 hours long. I really liked it. Afterwards, we went to Dennys and I had delicious french toast. Then we drove out to the beach to walk on the beach for a while. I have never really hung out with Kevin, but it was a lot of fun, and really nice. He is a sweet guy and really easy to talk to. As we were walking, we kept seeing huge black blobs running across the sand, but we couldn't tell what they were. A bit later, we passed a couple walking in the opposite direction, chasing one of the blobs and taking pictures. They were armadillos. WHY were there armadillos at the beach? and in the water? It was crazy. We walked from the plaza, down under neath the pier and well past the pier. I think we walked for about two hours. Then when we were walking back, we lost the car. Of course neither of us payed attention to which street we parked on, so we walked for what felt like another hour before we found his car again. Tonight was a very good adventure.

Day 68 - Avenues, Town Center, Fancy Party

This morning Jenn and I went to the Avenues because Jenn needed new make up. that was uneventful for the most part. We did get pretzel dogs though, and that is always a highlight. (jennbundy: Me and @kgoreee eat pretzel dogs so often we have a dough-wrapping preference).

Tonight my dad and I went to Town Center and had dinner at Ted's. Then I went with Jenn to Courtney's friend Lauren's house. There was the most adorable gay couple there. Like, I wanted them for myself. They were so cute. I think every guy that was at her house that night was adorably gay. Matthew was feeling fancy so he was wearing his favorite 9 brooches all at once. He is adorable.

I had to be home tonight at one so I have been home, and video chatting with Luck, which is becoming part of my routine. I have to get to sleep early, since I have to be up early-ish in the morning to go to the beach with Evan. Hoorah.

Day 38 - Father's Day, Imokalee

Fathers Day. Liam and I took Daddy to the Brick this morning and that was nothing different then normal time with Daddy. Today Liam went to camp for the very first time. We went with the Whelan’s to Camp Immokalee to drop them off. It was cute and they were both so excited. The camp is located waaay out on Blanding, past Orange Park and in the middle of nowhere. There are about 16 kids in their cabin and no AC. Basically they will die.





I am back in Fort Lauderdale now. Not excited for a week of work.

Day 30 - Colton, Rob, Dad, Ponte Vedra

Today was nice. I slept in until about 10, and woke up planning on doing A Day in My Life since I got my new camera the other day. But that fizzled pretty quickly. Mommy made me my favorite breakfast of Sister Schubert’s rolls, and then I took a shower. I rode my bike over to my dad’s and Colton met me there to mow his lawn. My dad ended up giving Colton more work to do later in the week. Colton and I were supposed to go to the beach today but it rained, of course, s we just hung out in Riverside and at his house. My dad still calls him “Carlton.” I corrected him when Colton was outside, and my dad just said “His parents named him wrong,” then kept calling him Carlton, although he knew it was wrong. It was funny. Colton is hoping to get a job at TCT so today was good all around for him. Afterwards we went back to his house so he could change since it started raining while he was mowing, then we went to see Emma at Smoothie King to grab some free smoothies. We went to Riverside Park and saw some guy on a bike get pegged in the face with a soccer ball. It was hilarious. He flew off his bike and just layed there. Then he stayed at the park, and kept riding around. I would have been so embarrassed and left if that had happened to me.

Colton and I went back to his house and watched TV ad talked to his roommate Reeder then he drove me out to Sawgrass. It was nice hanging out with him again like it was old days again. It was nice. I had dinner at Marsha’s then went out with Rob and his friend James. We went to Biscotti’s and had some cake. I am falling asleep right now really bad so I think I am going to leave this as another really lame entry. No Internet, even though I am at home. I can’t figure out what is wrong with it. And Evan just told me the new Augury CD has leaked and I can’t download it. Not thrilled. Psych time.





I want a wall like this.

Day 14 - Nothing

I went to lunch with Daniel today. Got my drug screening. Took pictures with Jenn. Ate dinner at my dads.

Although, this describes my day, perfectly.



On a more important note, I am out of wine.

Day 11 - Shopping, TSI, Kickbacks

Today was lame. Ill just leave it at that. All I did was work clothes shopping, dinner with dad, TSI and Kickbacks. My mom and I talked about my dad being engaged today. That was pretty much the highlight of my day. She told me this afternoon before I went to go have dinner with my dad, because she apparently knew and wanted to give me a heads up. I told her that I have known, and I told her about how I found out about it. I cant tell if she is upset or not about it. I am pissed though because when my grandmother died, she left me a lot of really beautiful jewelry that I was supposed to get when I turned 18. I am 20 now, and I have never seen any of it. Apparently my dad gave Kathleen one of my rings as her engagement ring. Tonight at dinner I told my dad that my mom knows, and we started to talk about it for a bit. My mom had told me about the ring thing, so I asked him if he had bought her a ring. And he said no, that he was still looking. I told him that I know she has a ring, and he fessed up that he gave her one of Nana Helen’s. I made sure he knew that its my ring, and I told him that I am 20 now and I want all of my jewelry back to my by August. It is mine, and I do not want that woman wearing my ring. After diner Jenn and I went to TSI for a cookout then Kickbacks for dessert. Both places were pretty dead though.

There is something that has been bothering me for a while, that I feel like the majority of my friends do. With my core group of friends, we are all addicted to our cell phones. With any of them, we go out to eat and we are texting almost the whole time, and it’s all right. We all have an understanding that we aren’t being rude, and we are still paying attention. With a few people I feel like that has been abused lately. Like out to dinner and I am trying to have a conversation and I am being completely ignored. Also, lately I have felt like a bunch of people I have been spending time with choose to constantly talk about how popular they are. That was an odd sentence to word. So many times lately I have heard “Oh my god so man people just texted me,” “So many people just asked me to hang out today,” “My phone wont stop blowing up,” etc. I feel that is just one of those things that you shouldn’t feel the need to talk about. Maybe that is just me, since most people do that. It makes me feel bad because I don’t have many friends left in Florida, and when ever I am down here I have a small pool of people to spend time with, and hearing about other people’s amazing social lived makes me feel pretty shitty. Give me Virginia, and I am set, but not so much here anymore. I don’t know if I am over reacting, and this is just normal, or if it only applies to my friends. Everyone seems to be doing this lately.

I have been thinking about some things more lately, and these small things are really starting to get on my nerves. Just stupid small things that no one notices, but they are all really huge to me.

I leave for Ft. Lauderdale in a few days, on Sunday. I got some clothes today for work. I have mixed feelings about going still. I will only get a total of 4 weeks in Jacksonville this summer, and I am really not okay with that. I had a rough year at school, and I need down time. I know I am going to enjoy this job and learn a lot; I just don’t want to deal with the stress and the work I have to do for school to get credit for this on top of normal work. I am trying to be positive about it though. I was talking to Colton earlier, and I told him about my job:

Colton Lane: What are u doing after that??
Kate Gorman: living in ft Lauderdale for 2 months
Colton Lane: Damn
Colton Lane: Party
Kate Gorman: haha i wish
Colton Lane: What are u gonna be doing there?
Kate Gorman: working
Colton Lane: Oh yeah? Doing what??
Kate Gorman: marketing for a hospital. its gonna be rough
Colton Lane: That sounds like a grown ass lady job
Kate Gorman: hahaha
Kate Gorman: I like that
Colton Lane: Yeah for real though
Colton Lane: That sounds like a legit job
Kate Gorman: its an internship, so its more of a fake real job
Colton Lane: I am proud of u Kate.
Kate Gorman: Thanks
Colton Lane: I'm for real like none of my friends ever do anything with the lives. But like it seems like u are
Colton Lane: That's cool
Kate Gorman: thanks. Im trying.
Colton Lane: Yeah I realize that may seem a little weird to hear
Colton Lane: But.... I'm kinda wasted so its alright lol

That was nice to hear, except for the last part….

Tomorrow I have random appointments then hopefully hanging out with Emma. I just realized that I have been listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack in the background while typing this, without realizing it. Hm…. Changing. Back to my current favorite song, which SURPRISE, brings the livelavalive video I am in love with right now. I love Ghostland Observatory, and I love that he used this song in a video.

Day 1 - Pearl, TSI, Dad

I feel like this summer is going to be.... interesting. This is going to sound really pathetic, but I have been following Charles Trippy, Shay Carl, and Phillip DeFranco while they have been doing their daily video blogs. I was just watching Shay's from yesterday and I was thinking, "It's nice that he has this to look back on one day." I used to blog, doing the lame 9th grade LiveJournal thing, and recently I went back and read it. It was absolutely hilarious, and it made me feel like a complete loser. Although it was nice to go back through and read what my life was like then.

Today was my first full day of summer. I just completed by sophomore year of college, and my life is going through some changes. I feel like this summer will be stressful and different, and I want to remember it later on.

Last night, which was technically Day 1, but I was only in Jacksonville for a few hours, I think laid out how my summer is going to go. I got back into Jacksonville at about 6:00. It was raining, of course. My mom met me half way between here and Virginia in Columbia and we stayed the night there and went shopping yesterday before coming back down here. So I get home and unpack my car with the majority of my stuff. My mom gets home and she gets a call from one of our old neighbors, Mrs. Hager. Apparently the Hagers have been staking out my dad's house for some time. (They live down the road, and they have a perfect view of dad's house from their house) Mrs. Hager told my mom that, apparently, my dad's girlfriend Kathleen had been living there for a while. My mom was curious, so she sent me over there to check it out. I have always acted as the Middle Man between my parents since they got divorced. Its always "Will you tell your mother that..." "Take this over to your fathers...." I am getting sick of it. Although last night I was quite curious.

I got over there and Kathleen's car was in the driveway. I knocked, and Lilly started barking so I just went on it. I was greeted with the scene of my childhood playroom ripped to shreds. There was no carpet, no furniture; the walls were about a thousand different colors. Awesome Dad, thanks for telling me about this. When I pulled up I had a hint that something was up, because one of my favorite chairs was outside in the rain by the trash. I was not too pleased. Anyways, so Lilly is barking and can hear Kathleen yelling to see who was at the door. I yelled "Me!" thinking, for some reason, she would know. Of course not. I have met the woman twice. She was even sort of confused when she saw me. I was like, "Its Kate..." And I realized she was wearing a shirt of mine. Awesome. Turns out she was on the phone with my dad, who was in Baldwin, driving back from a meeting out of town and that he was going to be home in about 20 minutes. She gave me her phone to talk to him for a bit, and then she left the room. I was sitting at the bar and talking on her phone, and I was just looking around the room.

Then it caught my eye. A greeting card, displayed proudly on the bar. It was a simple and white, with the image of a man picking up and swinging a woman in a circle. The text read, "You're engaged!" Not wanting to touch it, viewing it as some heinous object, I peered around to read the inside. "Steve and Kathleen, Congratulations on your engagement! We are so happy for both of you! Love, Janette and Buzz." My stomach fell. I was still on the phone with my dad but his voice was distant and I wasn't paying attention anymore. Tears welled up in my eyes, and just then Kathleen came back. I sucked it up and tried not to think about it. I gave her the phone back, and she sat down to talk until my dad would come home. We started to talk about the family room, and "their" future plans for it. The card was still in my line of vision and I couldn't help but think about it. The tears came back, and she interpreted it as me being upset about the family room. I tried to tell her it wasn't, but I realized I had to ask. I pointed to the card as I really started to cry, and she just grabbed it and said, "Oh shit." Impulsively I looked at her ring finger and was glad to see that there was nothing there. She went on to explain that he wanted to tell me, and that was why he wanted to see me so badly when I was last in town about a month ago. She said that in September he took her up to Wisconsin to meet his family. I remember him taking that trip. He never mentioned that she was there or even why he went. She told me that he was always upset with him because towards me, he would pretend like she didn’t exist. We talked for a while about things, and I was almost bawling. I hate this. I have met her now three times. They have apparently been dating for five years this November. Which means that they met right after my parents separated.

To understand why this bothers me so much, I guess background on my dad is needed. Towards my mom and I, he has never been affectionate. Obviously in different ways. He has never been one to express emotions, or to make a commitment. So I was completely shocked that he is engaged. I don’t know how this is going to work out. I feel like it is going to be one of those things where they get engaged but never actually get married. I hope. I do not want a step mom. Even though I am 20 and I will never spend any time with her, I don’t want that for my brother. He absolutely hates going over to my dad’s, and this would just make it worse. Although according to my parent’s divorce settlement, if there is any communal living the children are not required to spend time with the other parent. So if she moves in, Liam doesn’t have to go over there anymore. He will be thrilled about hat though.

She says that once they get married (if) they wont even live together. What the hell? Basically what happened is that her lease on her house was up, and she was going to move away to be with her grand kids (GRAND. KIDS.). She told my dad, he freaked, and asked her to marry him so that she wouldn’t leave. I feel like that was just him being selfish. I know my dad, because unfortunately I took after him in asshole behavior traits. He does love her, but that does not trump his feelings about commitment and emotions and whatnot. I feel like he asked her to marry him so that she wouldn’t leave him. I guess it is good that he has someone there for him, with his health and Liam hating being over there, it’s a good positive, but I don’t feel like his motives were correct. Anyways, she got another house since she had to move out, so she has somewhere she is required t live, basically, for the next 2 years. And my dad sure as hell is not moving. So they wont live together? I don’t know. That’s just weird. But that is my dad for you.

So my dad came home just as I was getting ready to leave. I was not up for having the same conversation with him, and I really had to get home because I was supposed to go out. He walked in, and I was avoiding eye contact. I don’t remember if Kathleen said something, or if I did, but when he found out I knew he was angry. He started yelling at me, trying to make me feel bad for not seeing him when I was last home, and for never returning his calls. So it is my fault that he hid it from me? I didn’t see him when I was last here because usually we just go out to dinner and sit around awkwardly while I am left to feel like he is only there because he has to spend time with me. I don’t want to be there either though. So on my last trip home I avoided that.

Before I left I asked him when he was going to tell Liam and my mom. He said he would tell Liam this weekend, since now I know. And he was going to let telling my mom up to me. That pissed me off. I told him that no way in hell would I be the one to tell her and that HE had to do it. Needless to say, he was not thrilled. I left then to go home and eat dinner and get ready to go out. I had to put on a happy face and tell my mom that Kathleen was not living there and she was just watching Lilly, which was the truth. I had to sit and have a happy dinner with her and Liam, and pretend like nothing was wrong.

Anyways, later Jenn and I went out. It was kind of awkward at first, and I was in a bad mood and I felt bad that I made Jenn miss something she wanted to do since I was running late due to the hour I was at my dad’s house. We got past that and had dinner at Sushi Café where MC made Jenn some awesome sushi. After that we went to her friend Adam’s house and I drank alone before we went to the Pearl. We got to the Pearl and Adam was in the longest line ever to get in. So we went in the back and Adam was too impatient and left. Last night the Pearl was interesting. There was a weird mix of people. Although Jaclynn was there and I was finally able to say some things to her I have wanted to tell her for a very long time. I feel better now. This guy I met at TSI at the Black and White ball was there too, but of course I didn’t have the nerve to go and talk to him. We left early and went to TSI to hang out with Adam and Clayto for a bit. They were both very drunk and the place was empty. Jenn and I absolutely wowed them with our dancing skills on the stage. More like we pretended to be ballerinas and they pretended were too drunk to pay attention. Jenn and I left and enjoyed some 4 AM Wa-Ho where this were some hilarious people. As we were leaving we were stopped by this guy who asked us if we sang for the B-52s, and I said that I used to but I haven’t lately. Funny thing is that I saw the same guy, in black bike shorts and a camo jacket riding a bike through my neighborhood today. Odd.

Today, which I am going to call Day 1, was lazy as anything. Laid around all day, then I went to help my dad buy tile. Hoorah. We really didn’t talk about Kathleen or anything and it was awkward. When I got home from doing that my mom was in a funny mood. I still don’t know why. We went to dinner with the Whelans, and in the middle of dinner Mrs. Hager called my mo and they talked for a minute, and my mom was saying things like “No I’m fine” and whatnot. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on, but she wouldn’t say.

So now I have a predicament. Do I tell my mom or not? I feel like it is not my place to tell her, yet again she may get her feelings hurt if she finds out that I knew and I was hiding it from her. I know she won’t be upset that he is getting married; at least I don’t think so. I feel like the part that will hurt is that my asshole of a father found someone before she did. My mother is an amazing and beautiful woman, and is somehow single. I feel bad because she kind of dated this one guy a few years ago, but I was uncomfortable with it and told her she could do better, and she broke it off with him. I feel that my selfish, dad-like intentions in that situation kind of screwed her over. And I feel really guilty about that. Hopefully tomorrow I will figure out what to do: tell her or not to tell her?

I am going to try extra hard to be nicer to Liam this summer. I asked him to go see a movie with me tomorrow, and we are going to see Monsters and Aliens. Also he is glad about this because it is less time that he has to spend at my dad’s house. Liam has been having a hard time lately, and acting out, and my mom really does not need this. I am going to try to help with straightening him out a bit. I am trying, but who knows how that will work out.

Tomorrow Liam has a baseball game in the morning and my dad may be there, and if so, that will be awkward. I am hoping he doesn’t show.

Day 1 of summer has been odd so far. We will see how this pans out. Right now, however, I am going to get something to eat with Jarrett. I was planning on going to Steamworks tonight but I guess I am not going. This was really long, I hope every day isn't like this.