Art today was interesting, to say the least

Today in art two interesting things occurred. One, I realized that I can be categorized as a Dadaist, which I am not fond of. I hate Dada, I have never been interested in it or inspired by it, but all of the work I have done this semester has a very Dadaist element to it. Take today, for example, the panel I am working on is the one which suffered my hissy fit. It is brown with bits of red. Brown. Sign one of Dada. Then over the break I was trying to think of a compelling image to transfer onto the panel, and I decided on a train. Train. Machinery. Sign two of Dada. All of my work this semester has had the same color scheme of brown, red, black and white. Everything has machinery or metal incorporated into it. I hate Dada. But I have accidentally created a number of Dadaist pieces. Although, this piece by Hannah Hoch from 1919 is mind blowing.



Second: I had a odd heart to heart with John about my future. I can't remember exactly how this got started. I was sitting there, working on my train, when he came over to watch me work as usual. I think Ashley said something about being stressed with exam time, and I said, "I just want to be out of school for good." I still have Riverside and a year off on my mind, and that is all I want right now. John replied with, "Don;t say that. The second you are done with school you will want nothing more than to be back." Yeah, right.

I told him that when I leave I have years and years of schooling left. MBA, Masters in Art History, then eventually my doctorate in Contemporary Art. That's alot. I told him I don;t want to go to grad school, because right now in my mind grad school is getting my MBA, while working at Tenet. In recent months I have been excited about working at Tenet after graduation, going back to Jessica and Denise and Carrie and Craig. I really miss them all. But the second that I realized that I want nothing more than to take a year off after graduation and live in Riverside, I have come to view working at Tenet like selling my soul. I told all this to John, and he said that grad school was the best times he ever had. I pointed out that he went to art school, so that hardly counts. He thinks its ridiculous that my parents would never go for sending me to grad school for art. I would be deliriously happy, but there is no future in that. I don't want to teach; god no.

John asked me what will make me happy, and what I want to do with my life. I told him about Tenet, and his response to hearing the words "marketing for a hospital management company" was simply "eeew." I want to work in a museum. I want to curate at MoMA. I want to own a little gallery in Brooklyn. I want to live in a little apartment in Brooklyn, possibly walking to work at the Brooklyn Museum every day (and seeing Matthew Barney drinking coffee on a corner while on the way there wouldn't hurt). I want be around art for the rest of my life.

I know that working for Tenet is the wise choice, but it will not make me happy. I enjoy working there, but I am not passionate about it. Ever since I made this plan I have told myself that I will just work there for 5 to 7 years, get my MBA while there, save up the money I made so that I can afford to move and take risks. Careers in the arts pay nothing, but I am perfectly okay with that.

This blog has turned into an odd thing. It is more so a train of thought than anything. Over the summer it was simply "I did this then I went here and then did this" simply so that I could remember. Over Thanksgiving break I hated writing and updating it, but I like being able to read back on what I do while home. While at school posts like that would be boring. "Today I woke up. Ate breakfast. Went to art. Had an LCP meeting. Went to Ancient Greece. Went to Leadership. Took a nap. Ate dinner. Did my homework. Went to some meetings. The End."

That's horribly boring. I think this blog is going to change, and I am excited about it.

R.I.P. Hipster Runoff

Today, or actually the other day, marks the end of an era. Carles is officially retired from Hipster Runoff. The blog that I have obsessively read and lived by for years is over. Mike is the new editor and blogger for HRO, but he is just not the same. It lacks Carles' wit and outlook on life. I have already unsubscribed from the mailing list. Mike does not impress me. What will be the new Hipster Runoff? I am disappointed.

My favorite HRO post of all time, "Feeling both hornie and conceptual" makes me laugh every time I read it. I love when Carles has posts like this, that have nothing to do with music, fashion, altbros and altthings.

"I am in a weird mood this weekend. I feel like seeing some avant garde art/music/performances, but at the same time, I feel like doing something that objectifies women, like going to a strip club or something.

Part of me really wants to discover a new underground buzzband that is more authentic than Animal Collective/Karen O
but another part of me just wants to see some alternative titties.

Part of me wants to go to a meaningful art space and enjoy a night where people challenge reality
but the other part of me feels like ‘artists are bullshit people who want attention’, similar to tweens on youtube.

Part of me wants to see Tom Morello with a bunch of sweet Effectz Pedals,
but a bigger part of me wants to see a woman on all-fours without a shirt on with sweet pedals.

Part of me wants huge titties in my face
but another part of me wants lil authentic titties in my face.

Part of me wants to experience the night sober
but another part of me wants to ‘get mad fucked up.’

Part of me wants to ‘get drunk’ off miscellaneous beverages
but another part of me wants to detox with Rice Dream/ Silk / Soy Milk.

Part of me wants to see MGMT this weekend
but part of me wants to just see this broad this weekend, then send her a friend request 2 her weirdo myspace.

I am not sure which part of me will win. I am not sure who I am any more. I am not sure why I do anything any more.

What r u doing this weekend?

I feel like I need 2 get back 2 my roots, and search for the perfect alternative breasts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/perfect-alternative-breasts"

Tuesday, November 23

I was a lazy bum today. I got a hair cut and watched TV. And that is all I did.

Tonight I was supposed to hang out with Emma but she got too drunk at dinner. Hoorah. So I got to spend another night in. I don't do well when I have to sit at home. I ended up talking to Jenn on the phone for two hours about everything going on and that was nice. I havem't really talked to her in quite some time.

I watched too much TV today. I never watch TV. My brain is fried.

I love Fan Death, but this video is just weird.

Monday, November 23 - Blank

Today I woke up, drove my mom to St. Marks, went back to sleep. Woke up late for lunch with Corbett, didn't realize George was in my house, almost gave him a heart attack. Then went to lunch with Corbett. After lunch I felt like driving around, so I went through Avondale, Riverside, downtown, the industrial area around where TCT is. Drove past Thee Imperial and was reminded of everything I miss from the past few years.

Came home, fell asleep, went to pick up my mom and Liam, saw Mikey, came home and did nothing.

I made plans to hang out with Kevin tonight since I haven't seen him since August, but he didn't answer his phone and that really pissed me off. I really hate when people do that. I was getting over being pissed at him and I went to go hang out with some people. I wasn't sure where I was going and the person I was going to see wouldn't answer their phone when I was on their road so I aimlessly drove around for 20 minutes. So twice tonight someone's inability to answer their phone pissed me off.

In the few days that I have been home, there have been so many things to remind me of everything I have been upset about since last Thanksgiving. Today I got dressed to go to lunch with Corbett and I put on my Bum shirt, black pants, green sweater and black scart with my moccasins. I realized the last time I wore that exact outfit was the last time I went to Wyatt's house. Then today Liam found the Sin City disk I thought was lost. As I was trying to find a dropped earring I instead found the broken end of my pink flower earrings that I wore every day two summers ago. Today I drove past Thee Imperial and I remembered the last time I was there, for the Zeromus show. People not texting back. Guys being dumb. Being home in general. The black sweater I thought I had lost that randomly appeared in my closet yesterday. Even watching the Twilight the other night and having so many of the situations and character traits echo my own experiences. Everything is bringing back memories I would rather not ever deal with again. I have barely thought about it, for one year come January 8, and the past few days everything has made it all come back and I really hate it.

Wednesday, November 18 - 2 Days

Jacksonville in two days. I am so excited. Rob has an alright work schedule so I will be able to see him a good bit. It will be really weird not having Jenn there. I will be spending time with different people though, so that's good. I am excited to see Corbett and Kevin, Rob and Emma. Except Kevin is being a jerk... We shall see.

Sunday night Evan and I are going to go see Between the Buried and Me at Edge 17. I have never seen them live, but I know it is amazing. Rob saw them a few years ago and he loved it. This will be an experience.



Allison got a concussion last night. I had to go pick her up at the gym and talk to the trainer about everything. She was not doing too good. We came back to the room, and I went to go hunt down some applesauce for her in Prothro. I asked the older woman in Prothro if she could get me some apple sauce, and she said, "Yes, I will be right back." Then she was gone for about 5 minutes. when she came back I hadn't moved yet and she said, "Yes sweetie? Anything I can get for her?" I asked for applesauce again, pretending that this did not just happen, and she asked if anyone was already looking for me. I just lied and said no. She left to go look, then this whole thing happened again. I gave up and asked someone else.

Allison and I enjoyed a quiet night in, watched Drop Dead Gorgeous and went to sleep early. Except we both had to wake up every 2 hours so I could make sure that she was alive and well.


Today was... interesting. During art I got a call from Courtney. Her dad was diagnosed with brain cancer three weeks ago, then he just died on Saturday. I feel so bad for her. We are putting together a package to send her after Thanksgiving. She isn't going to come back next semester, like she was originally supposed to.

John has been comparing my work to William T. Wiley lately, who I have never heard of before the past few weeks, but I am in love with his work. With the hidden checks and ampersands and the incorporated text, it is quite similar to my Arabic triptych.



I love the quote on this one, although this one is far different than his other work.



The Arabic triptych and the embellished vest print on a panel both turned out awesome, and I am really proud of them, although I have no idea how I am going to get the triptych home. It will not fit in my car.....

Wednesday, August 26 - This even FEELS horribly damaged

Last night Christin and I decided to go and get some Sheetz. I had a Voice meeting, and it didnt get out until around 11:00 so we went then. Just a few miles out of Sweet Briar, a huge dog went in front of my car and I hit it, causing it to go underneath my car and dragging it for a bit. All these warning lights came on, and we had to abandon my car in the Autozone parking lot since my steering went all funny. The front bumper is cracked, as is the grill. When we were sitting at Autozone I texted Kevin and told him what had happened, although I said, "I just hit a car and now m car won't start." Instead of "I just hit a dog." So he called me immediately, freaking out. But he walked me through looking inside my hood to try to figure out what was going on. But, being a girl, I was clueless. Still, it was very sweet of him. Ashley and Kayt came to get us, thank god. On the way back to school a dog ran in front of Ashley's car. It was crazy.

This morning we had some diversity workshop, which was just frustrating for everyone invlved. The instructor was black, and there were no black people in the room, so every time we wanted to say "black" it would turn into a very awkward "african american...?" Oh well.

This afternoon I interviewed with Kristen about possibly getting the Phonathon intern position. I would love it if I get the position, as it is an amazing resume builder, but I think I will still be happy it I don't get it. I already am stressing out with everything I have on my plate, and classes haven't even started yet. So if I don't get the position, I will probably be better off. I will find out tomorrow, I think.

Speaking of tomorrow, classes are starting. I am beginning the year with printmaking, which will be awesome. Then Ancient Greece and Leadership in the Arts Organizations. I am excited.

Tomorrow I will deal with getting my car fixed. Tomorrow.

Day 98 - Back to School

Today I got back to school. I slept in this morning, got my Groucho's sandwich, bought a new adapter for my iPod, and hit the road.

I stopped by storage when I got into Madison Heights and I was going to get a bunch of stuff, but Megan and Jodie's things were on top. So I just grabbed my bed sheets, which were thankfully on top, and went to Walmart to buy towels and detergent.

Got to school, unpacked, and cried.

I dont want to be here.

Day 97 - Horrible Day

Today was terrible. So. Terrible.

I slept in, nice and late. Got up, packed my car, said bye to my mom, had lunch with my dad, and drove to Arlington. When I was leaving Arlington I got gas before starting the drove to Columbia, and there was this old man in the store. Apparently he had ought a prepaid phone there earlier today, and it still was not working. The woman told him that sometimes it takes a few hours to activate. So then this little old man with a cane threw the phone, breaking it to a bunch of little pieces. Then he took the largest chunk, went outside, and ran it over with his car as he was leaving. Aaaalright.

After I got gas I began the drove to Columbia. It was completely uneventful until I was an hour away from Columbia. I had been listening to an audio book and the CD played stopped working. I stopped, turned my car off and on and it was still acting up. I couldn’t switch to my iPod since the adapter for that is broken as well. Then the whole entertainment console shut off. The screen is black, with little green lines running down it. The CD player still wont work, but the radio is working, although I cant see the screen to see what channel I am on, or what the temp is set at. So that put a major damper on the last hour of my ride, since I hate the radio more than anything.

I got to the hotel, ready to put my stuff down and go get a Groucho’s sandwich. But the hotel lost my reservation. I had to sit there forever while they sorted it out, and I got hungrier and hungrier. Finally they figured it out and I walked to Groucho’s. Only to find it closed. Seriously, there were tears. I have been wanting Groucho’s all summer, and it was closed. It doesn’t open until 11 tomorrow, and I was going to leave at around 10. Bt now I think I will stick around to get lunch.

Then I left, walked back to my car, and drove to Chickfila. That was closed too. It is Wednesday. What the hell. Finally settled on McDonalds. Yuck. I have been sitting in this damn hotel room all night, on my old MySpace. When I was sifting through the 9,000 some odd friends on that one, I found 3 or 4 people using my pictures as their own, and a bunch of fakes of Jamie XTC. I clocked on those, because they are always hilarious, and for a good amount of them, I was in the top friends. What the fuck. I started clicking on a lot of younger “scene” girls MySpaces, and I was in the top friends of so many people I don’t know. It is so creepy. I deleted a good amount of them. Seriously, what the hell. I am not that interesting. Pick someone else to creep up on.

Tomorrow I will be back at Sweet Briar. Summer is over. What will happen to my blog?

Day 76 - Painting, Target, Night at the Roxbury

Today I helped paint Mrs. Risdon's classroom with a bunch of teachers and kids. that was fun, although it was more of a work out than it should have been. My hair is completely white from where I kept hitting my head on wet paint so now I look like I have the most intense dandruff ever.

I kept cleaning all this afternoon, and got rid of another chunk of stuff from in my room. I got rid of everything that was in the shadow boxes on my dresser and night stand and went to Target to get photos developed to replace them with. Wile there I got a frame to hang one of my prints above my bed. I was looking ROUGH while I was there. Sweaty, needing a shower, hair and legs covered in paint. So, of course, who do I see? Mike Woods. The first thing I said was a disclaimer about not having intense dandruff, and he grabbed my head and was like "let MEEEEE see!" Then we discussed how he can only wear a pair of socks once then throws them away. Then of course the conversation turned to Jenn and it was far less awkward. But STILL. Embarrassing.

Then tonight after I was showered got the majority of paint out of my hair, my friend Kevin came over and we watched Night at the Roxbury, since he has never seen it. Watching a movie with him tonight made me think of last summer and watching movies with Wyatt all the time. Not talking to him anymore still hurts. He went from being one of my best friends and talking 24/7 to never speaking again. I have seen him a few times but we still havent spoken. It still hurts.

Day 52 - Tyler, Pretzels

This morning I was supposed to go to breakfast with Tyler at 10. I woke up at 10:48. Damn. I called him and he was at breakfast with someone else already. It was weird, he never even called. Texted once, but didn’t call. Oh well. We went to lunch at Panera instead and that was delicious. I haven’t had my favorite sandwich in a while. It was nice seeing Tyler today. We see each other about once every 2 years. The last time I saw him we had breakfast at Chickfila before he left to work at Camp Carolina the summer of 2007.

Jenn came over and we looked though all of the pictures from the weekend. They are hilarious and I will back post them. We went to town center since neither of us have been there in a long time. Well, I haven’t been in a few weeks but that’s forever for me. When we got there, I saw Auntie Anne’s and I thought “Hm. I really want a pretzel.” Then as we walked on I saw the Nathan’s stand and thought. “Or I want a hot dog….” After we did our shopping we decided to get pretzels until Jenn reminded me of God’s best invention: a pretzel dog. So I got both things I wanted in one. It was fantastic. At the mall I got an amazing shirt at Urban and some new make up.

I am now sitting on the plane, heading back to Fort Lauderdale. I only have two more weeks of work. Hoorah! I feel like my summer has been divided into three parts. Jacksonville Part One, Work, then Jacksonville Part Two. I hope Part Two is better than Part One.

My blog entries are lacking lately. I have nothing interesting to report aside from being home. This week Marsha wont be around a lot, so hopefully I can go see a movie. I want to see the Hangover pretty badly. I have heard it’s amazing. Jessica and I might go shopping again, and she wants me to take her to the museum on Thursday. I hope that all works out. More importantly, I have to stay in Fort Lauderdale this weekend since I have to work on Saturday morning. I think Jenn is going to come down to stay, and I really hope she does. Flights are super cheap.

The bruise on my arm is even more hilarious today. I have had three different people say, “Oh my god it looks like someone grabbed your arm.” When that’s exactly what happened. My story is that I hit my arm on a door hinge. Right. I don’t know how that would happen. The bruise is on my inside of my arm. I don’t want to know how that would be possible to get a door hinge hit that hard on that part of your arm. That would be a sight to see.

Alright I am bored. I am going to waste the rest of my flight editing 175 pictures of fireworks. This is pointless.

Day 51 - JSO, PVB, Fourth

This morning Jenn and I woke up and went straight to JSO. By this point I had a huge bruise on my neck and one on my arm that is obvious finger marks. We talked to a police officer and he wrote up a report for me. We couldn’t figure out how to spell Asshole’s last name, but eventually we found him. Unsurprisingly, he already has a mug shot. And he is laughing in it. We got the report written up and I have to go this week to file it, if I decide to file it.

We left downtown and came back home and got bathing suits and showers and whatnot then went to Tropical Smoothie for lunch. It was delicious. We went to Ponte Vedra and spent the day floating in the pool with AJ, Drew and Petal. Granny was back at Marsha’s house and it was nice to see her home and well. Finally out of the hospital!

Told my mom about what happened last night, thinking that would be a good idea since I need her help to file the report. She flipped, of course. And basically I am not allowed to see a lot of people anymore. I am alright with that, though. And she gave me a curfew, on Fourth of July. So that sucked. We talked about it and decided in the end that it wouldn’t be a good idea to file the report. Justin Jarrell, Asshole, is crazy. If he has no problem strangling a girl and giving her huge bruises when he is completely sober, I don’t want to know what he would do if I got him arrested. Since it would technically be a minor battery charge, it wouldn’t put him in jail, just ass something to his record. I would rather forget about the whole ordeal and move on.

Tonight Jenn and I went to 5 Points to watch the fireworks. We saw her friend Mike and he hung out with us for the night. Everyone was standing along the river at Memorial Park in front of the statue, then the fireworks started. Way over to the left. Everyone felt pretty stupid that we all were in the wrong spot. The fireworks were cool, but they are always the same. We left there and followed Mike to this party at his friend’s house. It was the coolest house I have ever been to. Apparently one of the guys that lives there’s mom owns an antique store, and the house was full of cool stuff. It was just like Jenn’s room, but in house form.

From there we went to Heather and Ollie’s loft downtown. Heather just got a kitten and it was the cutest thing ever. I usually don’t like cats, but my weekend was full of cats. Last night, Jenn and I spent quite some time chasing Joe’s cat, Titties, around his house. I think I liked that cat so much simply because his name was Titties. Heather’s cat was so tiny and adorable. Jenn and I spent the entire time that we were there playing with those blow toys. I have no idea how to describe it, but there are pictures. Obviously. I dont know why the majority of these are B&W. For some reason it makes me feel like it is New Years Eve.

Day 50 - "Starts off fun. Ends HORRIBLY."

Today was both the most amazing night of summer and the worst. Half in half.

Lets quickly run through my day. Woke up and went to the hospital to visit Granny for a bit. She was supposed to go home today but apparently her Potassium levels were too low so she may go home tomorrow. Not sure.

Anyways, tonight Jenn and I started off the night awesome. Se picked me up and we headed towards Riverside. We got there and had no clue what to do. Axell was going swimming and asked us to come but he wasn’t going to be off work for a while. So we were just driving around and killing time before heading to Steamworks and ended up on Colton’s street. We were supposed to be hanging out with him so we decided to go by and get him. We saw him and Ben and hung out with Colton for a bit at his house. That was fun. We walked down to the gas station and back, stopping at Kickbacks on the way so that Jenn could try to get a lighter from someone. We went back to Colton’s house, Joe came over, and then we went to Steamworks. Once we got there we hung out outside and it was fun.

Eventually we left to go back to Joe’s house to watch a movie or something, and when we got there we just danced and hung out and had fun. Axell finally called Jen and she left to go hang out with them. Colton and Joe and I sat around for about a half hour then the night took a turn.

Axell called me to get directions to Joe’s, but of course I had no clue so I gave the phone to Colton and Axell was flipping out. Apparently Jenn was upset but I had no idea why. A bit later Axell called again and told us to go downstairs as fast as possible. So Colton and I were gathering Jenn and I’s stuff together to leave then the Asshole came upstairs. I am just going to refer to him as Asshole. He started yelling at me to hurry up and go downstairs, saying “Someone else needs to deal with this fucking bitch downstairs I have had to deal with her for over an hour.” (10 minutes, max, he had been with her. Whatever.) He kept yelling and I screamed at him that he was being a jerk and to shut up. I went downstairs and Colton was right behind me, leaving Asshole upstairs. Once we got down there I didn’t see Jenn anywhere, and Axell was standing outside of the car. I can’t remember what he was saying, and I just remember Asshole storming downstairs and screaming about Jenn. He was calling her all of these terrible things and yelling that I had to go deal with her. I can’t remember exactly what he said that made me snap, but I ran at him, threatening to punch him if he didn’t shut up. I didn’t even get the chance to ball my fist. Next thing I know, I couldn’t breathe and his hands were around my neck. I froze and I had no clue what to do. I scarped at him until he threw me down to the ground, where I just laid and cried with Colton trying to console me. Then what happened hit me, and I realized he went towards Jenn. I got up and they were half way down the block. I ran towards then and got to Jenn and pulled her back towards the car, all the while screaming at Asshole. He and Axell finally left and it was just Jenn and Colton and I. I have no clue how long I stood there crying into Colton’s shirt with Jenn standing there in shock. Once we got into the car I found out what had happened when she was gone. Axell picked her up, and took her over to Hendrick, Asshole, and Jeremy’s house. Apparently Hendrick was there with another girl and flipped out on Axell for taking her there and wanted her to leave. She was fine with that, and since she was only a few blocks away she started to walk, and she was fine with that. Then Asshole comes up to her and picks her up. She was kicking at him but he would let her down. He unlatched the back of Hendrick’s Scion and literally threw her in there, while Axell and Hendrick laughed. He locked her in and wouldn’t let her out. Once they got back to Joe’s house, where Colton and I were, she didn’t get out of the car until I was on the ground. She heard me yelling at Asshole but didn’t see what he did to me, she just took off down the block.

I am home now, with a fresh bruise appearing on my neck. Erica called me, and I am going to file a police report in the morning. I have let one boy hurt me and get away with it, but I am not going to let him. My only worry is the consequences. The people that he knows and what could happen if it ever got out that it was me that reported me terrified me. But if he has absolutely no problem strangling and throwing one girl and locking another on a car, what would he do to anyone else? He obviously didn’t care about what he did, and watched me lay on the ground where he threw me, crying.

Jenn and I drove back, both in tears the whole way back. She is sleeping in Liam’s room right now. I completely agree with Jenns away message right now. “’Asshole’ is a nasty, sick fuck. Kate has bruises around her neck. Axell and Hendrick think it’s funny. I fucking hate every single one of you.”

The worst part about tonight is that I didn’t stand up for myself. I froze, and everything I have learned and I teach women was erased from my mind. I can’t be afraid of the outcome of reporting him. He deserves whatever he gets.

Jenn and I think that the Dane Cook line about tickling fits this night very well. "Starts off fun. Ends HORRIBLY."

So, starts off fun:














Ends HORRIBLY

Day 40 - OR DAY! Slash worst day imaginable

Today was OR day. I woke up early and got to Good Sam at like 7:30. I meandered about and finally found where I was supposed to be going. I met with a woman who paired me up with this nurse, who was really sweet. He was big and fluffy and flamboyant. Basically my favorite kind of person. There was another girl there who I think was about 16 or 17, and she is the daughter of the CEO. Jason took us all around the OR floor and showed us how everything works from the cleaning of the tools to the end where they have to be cleaned again. It was really interesting seeing how the actually hospital runs instead of seeing just the business side. He got us all suited up, with scrubs and masks and hats and everything. I looked quite ridiculous. It is impossible to look thin in scrubs. I ended up looking like a large green whale. With a mask. The first surgery we were going to watch was a knee surgery. I hate knees. Hate. Them. The second Jason said this my knees both felt so uncomfortable and I had goose bumps. I prefer to think that knees don’t actually exist, and I think that the world would be better off if we are all knee-less. Anyways, he took is in the OR and sat us down. He forced me to sit down because I was already feeling faint. The doctor came in and he was so old. I immediately felt uncomfortable on behalf of the patient. She had been crying and nervous. I would be gotten up and left had I seen the surgeon. The actual procedure was really interesting. I was freaked out at first but then got used to it. He inserted a little camera into her knee through one tiny hole, then through another hole on the other side of the kneecap he inserted a long tool. Just with these two little holes he was able to remove the majority of the arthritis from her knee. It was amazing. I have decided that arthritis looks like cotton candy.

After this we planned our afternoons. The other girl was going to watch a cataract surgery and I was going to eat. Jason gave me the option of going to a hernia repair surgery or a rectal tumor exam. Guess which one I chose. Hint: not the rectal tumor exam. On my way downstairs to eat I stopped to find Denise, who wasn’t around. But then I saw Jeremy and I was going down the stairs and he blew right past me. I stopped him and asked where Denise was and he just looked at me for a minute, confused. Then he realized it was me. In scrubs. Looking ridiculous. Then he laughed at me.

After I ate I went back to the OR and met up with Jason for the hernia repair. The other girl and Jason weren’t there this time so I was horribly bored during the prep. I was sitting at the woman’s feet, and I got a crystal clear view of when they inserted the catheter. I will have nightmares. The actual surgery was the same as the knee, with the tool and the scope. Although they had to actually cut into her to repair it. I couldn’t see anything, I could just hear the squishy sound effects. That, combined with boredom, make me just get up and leave.

I came back downastairs and Denise told me to just leave for the day. I decided it was a good time to go and try to get my phone fixed, even though I have an appointment at Apple tomorrow night. I just needed to sync it to make it work. I was stressing because my phone wasn’t working and Granny Franny was in surgery and I had no way for my mom to contact me without a working phone. So I left Good Sam and drove down to the Boca Town center to go to Apple and return some other things. I went straight to Apple, and the jerk at the door just wasn’t letting people into the store. And he gave no reason whatsoever. Just, “no.” that right there set the mood for the rest of my day. I went to go return some shorts and I was a complete bitch to the sales girl and I just didn’t care. I stopped by Nordstrom’s to return something and look for a blouse for work, and I got sucked into the BP department. I left with 3 dresses and that all amazing, and that improved my mood a bit. I headed back to Las Olas, because I wanted to go to the museum and to a movie since Marsha hasn’t been in town for a few days, and I didn’t want to spend the afternoon alone in the apartment. I got back to the building, changed into one of my new dresses, and tried to sync my phone. Didn’t work. It was like 3:15 and the museum closed at 5, so I thought I would make a quick trip to the AT&T store. Three AT&T stores later the guys just tells me that my phone is corrupted, and I just need a new one. I ended up going to Best Buy and bought a crappy AT&T GO Phone so I could at least call my mom to see if Granny was out of surgery. Which she is, and she is doing great. By this time, I was soaked because of the storm, and it was past 5:00 and I had missed the movie. I was in the worst mood imaginable all day long.

So now I am sitting in one of the comfy theater chairs and watching the worst movie I have ever seen on Disney. Dadnapped. Don’t waste your time.

Day 15 - Breakfast, Mom, Errands, TV

This morning Jenn came over and we made muffins. More like she watched me mix them and then burn them. And I burned my finger. St. Marks had their last day of school today, so my mom and I took Liam and Jack to the pool and had lunch. I saw some girls from high school which is always fun. People I care to just never see again. I am ready to get out of Ortega. Everyone is stuck up. I don’t get it. And today just confirmed it. I don’t get some people.

So apparently I give awesome advice when I am drunk. Last night I was talking to a bunch of different people and giving advice, and apparently it was amazing advice. Then this morning I was trying to help Jenn with something and I had no clue what to say. I can only give good advice when drunk. Not good.

This afternoon I went to Sports Authority to get Liam’s baseball coaches end of the season gifts. I took I-295 as usual to get to Blanding, although I was a little excited listening to Ratatat, and I missed my exit. Usually that’s no big deal. However this time I had to go 10 miles out of the way and a 10-minute drive ended up taking a half hour. O barely made it back to Ortega in time for an appointment with Denise. Turn out I didn’t have to be there at all, and I accidently fell asleep in the waiting room. That was awkward to wake up to the receptionist staring at me.

I took a nap this afternoon and had a serried of really weird dreams. The weirdest was a dream where I went skiing with Eddy Ospina. Why?

I saw my grades tonight, and I was really disappointed. I worked harder this semester than I had in past semesters at school. I got all A’s and B’s, but a D in Spanish. I hated Spanish with a passion, and I am not surprised I got a D. My GPA was only lowered a little bit, but it is so frustrating that all of the work I did basically just got erased by one class. Good thing is that I don’t have to deal with Spanish anymore. I wanted to go to the art show at Ocean Club with Jenn tonight but because of my grades I couldn’t go and I feel bad. “/

I have spent the evening watching TV, which is something I never do. Now I am watching Frasier. Odd. I think I am going to sleep in the TV room tonight. I’m cozy. Jenn sleeps on this couch a lot. I’m guessing it’s comfy. I guess I will find out.

This is my favorite song right now.

Day 14 - Nothing

I went to lunch with Daniel today. Got my drug screening. Took pictures with Jenn. Ate dinner at my dads.

Although, this describes my day, perfectly.



On a more important note, I am out of wine.

Day 7 - Town Center, Allison

Today was another rough day. It started off pretty good though. Emily and I went to the mall, and lunch at Maginot’s. Seriously, she is the cheapest date ever. Combined, our bill at Maggiano's was $12. Awesome. That was also the only thing I have eaten all day, and its 1 AM and I may pass out. I am making some Texas Toast right now those, and it is most likely burning. The microwave broke today, so all of my left over’s from Kickbacks and Tijuana Flats cant be reheated. I am quite sad about that. My toast is most likely burning right now. Oh well. After Emily and I got back I finally took my commission over to Eileen’s. I was getting frustrated with the whole situation and I just don’t want to get into it here. Although I may not be getting paid for it. FML.

This after noon there was a tree dedication at St. Marks for Allison. Everyone has accepted what happened and they are dealing with it and being exposed to it every day, but I haven’t been home. That was really hard for me to do today. The second I go tout of the car, I saw Jessie Drew. My stomach just fell, I have barely talked to her since Allison died, and I had no idea what to say to her. We talked for a minute, and I ordered the shirt that Faction Habit made for Allison. We were there for a bit, and then I saw Drew for the first time. My heart literally broke. I feel so terrible for her. I have no idea what she is going through. The dedication was so sweet. The third graders at St. Marks chipped in and bought a live oak tree and benches and the whole area behind the office and by the playground is going to be in memory of Allison. They left a hole around the tree, and had the third graders come and put some dirt in. After the third graders, a lot of people went and did it too, and I started to cry when the Haramis’ and Jessie ad Hodson did it. I can’t image what this family is going through. Right after the dedication everything really sunk in. Everyone was happy and everything and I was miserable. I haven’t been around and it never really sunk in until today, seeing Drew and Jessie and the family. They found a beautiful statue that is going to go in the courtyard too, a ballerina to celebrate Allison’s spirit. It is beautiful.



I came home, cried, and then just passed out. I woke up at 11, and now I wont sleep for the rest of the night most likely. I am video chatting with Mikey right now, and about to enjoy my delicious toast. I talked with my mom for a long time tonight about Drew and Allison and about how they are doing. Everything has been really hard for them of course, and I just could not imagine what they are going through. They have been in my thoughts ad prayers since April 17 and they always will be.

Yet again, a Mitchell Davis video totally relates to my life.

Day 4 - Accident, Kickbacks, MC

Today was another ridiculous day. Seriously, if my days continue to be an random as the last few days, I am in for one hell of a summer. This morning began with my phone interview with a man from my internship in Miami. We talked a bit about what I will be doing this summer and whatnot. Then I worked up the nerve to IM Jenn, although I promptly fell back asleep 2 minutes later. Awesome. Around 1 Emily Risdon called and I went and picked her up at St. Marks and we got lunch and I helped her study for her exams tomorrow. We hung out for a bit, and then decided to go to Target, because that’s how we roll.

On the way back from Target, Emily and I were in the car, in the turn lane on Roosevelt getting ready t turn left onto Longbow. There was a car in front of us and one other coming in the opposite direction. The light was green, and the car in front of us had plenty of time to turn, although he just wouldn’t go. When the car coming in the opposite direction was getting ready to pass through the intersection he went, and they smashed together. I felt like he timed it just so they would collide. Immediately Emily and I got out in the rain and called 911. The man who stupidly drove into the intersection was really old, and is car was wedged between two electric poles, making the stoplights go out. The woman who he hit has 3 children in the car, and the eldest girl in the front seat was hurt. We waited around for the police and rescue to come, and then we had to stay and talk to them for a while. I think every one was okay, but it was still scary.



Later on I just spent time with my mom and Liam, we played Life and read the Westing game, which is one of my favorite books ever. Liam doesn’t seem to be too enthused, but I am trying to get him excited about it.

Jenn and I hung out all night, which I am excited about. The endless stomachache is over. Hoorah! First we went to Starbucks in Five Points and I spilled scalding hot tea all over myself, and almost died. Well, I would have lived, but I almost cried. MC came over from where he works at the Sushi Café and hi boss eventually came over too. We took MacBook pictures, and MC acted like it was Christmas morning. He was elated.



From there, we went to Kickbacks, thinking it would just be a stop before heading to Shanty Town, but we ended up being there until after 2. We met a bunch of nice guys and hung out with them. It turned out to be an awesome night. I am exhausted now, and Jenn is sleeping over so I am just going to leave this as the worst post ever.

Day 2 - TSI

Tonight was probably the worst night ever. I was the worst friend I could possibly be. My night began by taking a nice, long nap. How can you go wrong there? Then I picked up Jenn and she and I went to pick up my cousin Patrick from the airport. On the way back from the airport, we made plans to go to Rob’s party for a bit then to TSI. So I took Patrick to my house, and got ready to go to TSI. Once we were at TSI I was not in the best mood. Bad music, not many people, and it was just a weird night. I have no clue what made me so angry, but I majorly took it out on Jenn. The whole night she was trying to get me to cheer up but I wouldn’t. Her friends Adam and Clayto from Thursday night were there and we hung out with them for a bit. Adam and I talked, mainly about Jenn when she wasn’t around. Before we left he asked for my number, and about a thousand things went through my head. I know his intentions were pure, but it came off really badly. I tried to protest but I failed miserably I gave in, and gave him my number. My thought was that he wanted to talk about something we had been talking about off an on all night.

Long story short, Jenn and I got into a big fight. I acted so selfishly and stupidly and I obviously made the wrong choice not only in this situation, but in the whole night. I was ride to her all night when she did nothing at all to deserve it. I messed up so badly I cannot think of how to fix this situation. Some things were said tonight that hurt me worse than I thought imaginable, but I deserved it all. I don’t know what to do.

On a lighter, less tressful note, I took Liam to see Monsters vs Aliens today. It was cute . I was not too excited about seeing it, but there was this one part that I was cracking up in. I don;t know why, but I usually find things to be humorous, but I am always keeping it to myself, or not laughing. No idea why. I am weird. This part had be cracking up for a solid minute. The clip is most likely going to removed since the person filmed it in the theater, but I will try. I may not be as humorous out of context, but still.

After that I came home and pretty much just had a long talk with my mom. I tried to get it out about my dad and Kathleen, but I couldn't do it. I then had to go drop off Liam at my dad's, and there was this guy there who was helping him move tiles. He was only a few years older than me, but he was hitting on me in front of my dad, and even better, my dad did nothing to stop it. Ugh.

I have spent hours today watching all of livelavalive' videos. I feel like I am have a really unhealthy relationship with YouTube. I spend at least an hour every day, usually when I am trying to go t bed at night, watching videos. A good amount of time is spent watching my 90-some-odd subscriptions, then Stumbling to get more or just browsing the featured videos. that is how I found livelavalive. He is hilarious. I have watched this video multiple times today and I love it. I just need to figure out who to send it to.... Oh. You!

That is all for today. I am thankful to end this day. Goodness. I want to talk to Jenn so badly but I know if I try to will pester her and make things worse. I am the worst friend ever.