Day 11 - Shopping, TSI, Kickbacks

Today was lame. Ill just leave it at that. All I did was work clothes shopping, dinner with dad, TSI and Kickbacks. My mom and I talked about my dad being engaged today. That was pretty much the highlight of my day. She told me this afternoon before I went to go have dinner with my dad, because she apparently knew and wanted to give me a heads up. I told her that I have known, and I told her about how I found out about it. I cant tell if she is upset or not about it. I am pissed though because when my grandmother died, she left me a lot of really beautiful jewelry that I was supposed to get when I turned 18. I am 20 now, and I have never seen any of it. Apparently my dad gave Kathleen one of my rings as her engagement ring. Tonight at dinner I told my dad that my mom knows, and we started to talk about it for a bit. My mom had told me about the ring thing, so I asked him if he had bought her a ring. And he said no, that he was still looking. I told him that I know she has a ring, and he fessed up that he gave her one of Nana Helen’s. I made sure he knew that its my ring, and I told him that I am 20 now and I want all of my jewelry back to my by August. It is mine, and I do not want that woman wearing my ring. After diner Jenn and I went to TSI for a cookout then Kickbacks for dessert. Both places were pretty dead though.

There is something that has been bothering me for a while, that I feel like the majority of my friends do. With my core group of friends, we are all addicted to our cell phones. With any of them, we go out to eat and we are texting almost the whole time, and it’s all right. We all have an understanding that we aren’t being rude, and we are still paying attention. With a few people I feel like that has been abused lately. Like out to dinner and I am trying to have a conversation and I am being completely ignored. Also, lately I have felt like a bunch of people I have been spending time with choose to constantly talk about how popular they are. That was an odd sentence to word. So many times lately I have heard “Oh my god so man people just texted me,” “So many people just asked me to hang out today,” “My phone wont stop blowing up,” etc. I feel that is just one of those things that you shouldn’t feel the need to talk about. Maybe that is just me, since most people do that. It makes me feel bad because I don’t have many friends left in Florida, and when ever I am down here I have a small pool of people to spend time with, and hearing about other people’s amazing social lived makes me feel pretty shitty. Give me Virginia, and I am set, but not so much here anymore. I don’t know if I am over reacting, and this is just normal, or if it only applies to my friends. Everyone seems to be doing this lately.

I have been thinking about some things more lately, and these small things are really starting to get on my nerves. Just stupid small things that no one notices, but they are all really huge to me.

I leave for Ft. Lauderdale in a few days, on Sunday. I got some clothes today for work. I have mixed feelings about going still. I will only get a total of 4 weeks in Jacksonville this summer, and I am really not okay with that. I had a rough year at school, and I need down time. I know I am going to enjoy this job and learn a lot; I just don’t want to deal with the stress and the work I have to do for school to get credit for this on top of normal work. I am trying to be positive about it though. I was talking to Colton earlier, and I told him about my job:

Colton Lane: What are u doing after that??
Kate Gorman: living in ft Lauderdale for 2 months
Colton Lane: Damn
Colton Lane: Party
Kate Gorman: haha i wish
Colton Lane: What are u gonna be doing there?
Kate Gorman: working
Colton Lane: Oh yeah? Doing what??
Kate Gorman: marketing for a hospital. its gonna be rough
Colton Lane: That sounds like a grown ass lady job
Kate Gorman: hahaha
Kate Gorman: I like that
Colton Lane: Yeah for real though
Colton Lane: That sounds like a legit job
Kate Gorman: its an internship, so its more of a fake real job
Colton Lane: I am proud of u Kate.
Kate Gorman: Thanks
Colton Lane: I'm for real like none of my friends ever do anything with the lives. But like it seems like u are
Colton Lane: That's cool
Kate Gorman: thanks. Im trying.
Colton Lane: Yeah I realize that may seem a little weird to hear
Colton Lane: But.... I'm kinda wasted so its alright lol

That was nice to hear, except for the last part….

Tomorrow I have random appointments then hopefully hanging out with Emma. I just realized that I have been listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack in the background while typing this, without realizing it. Hm…. Changing. Back to my current favorite song, which SURPRISE, brings the livelavalive video I am in love with right now. I love Ghostland Observatory, and I love that he used this song in a video.

Day 7 - Town Center, Allison

Today was another rough day. It started off pretty good though. Emily and I went to the mall, and lunch at Maginot’s. Seriously, she is the cheapest date ever. Combined, our bill at Maggiano's was $12. Awesome. That was also the only thing I have eaten all day, and its 1 AM and I may pass out. I am making some Texas Toast right now those, and it is most likely burning. The microwave broke today, so all of my left over’s from Kickbacks and Tijuana Flats cant be reheated. I am quite sad about that. My toast is most likely burning right now. Oh well. After Emily and I got back I finally took my commission over to Eileen’s. I was getting frustrated with the whole situation and I just don’t want to get into it here. Although I may not be getting paid for it. FML.

This after noon there was a tree dedication at St. Marks for Allison. Everyone has accepted what happened and they are dealing with it and being exposed to it every day, but I haven’t been home. That was really hard for me to do today. The second I go tout of the car, I saw Jessie Drew. My stomach just fell, I have barely talked to her since Allison died, and I had no idea what to say to her. We talked for a minute, and I ordered the shirt that Faction Habit made for Allison. We were there for a bit, and then I saw Drew for the first time. My heart literally broke. I feel so terrible for her. I have no idea what she is going through. The dedication was so sweet. The third graders at St. Marks chipped in and bought a live oak tree and benches and the whole area behind the office and by the playground is going to be in memory of Allison. They left a hole around the tree, and had the third graders come and put some dirt in. After the third graders, a lot of people went and did it too, and I started to cry when the Haramis’ and Jessie ad Hodson did it. I can’t image what this family is going through. Right after the dedication everything really sunk in. Everyone was happy and everything and I was miserable. I haven’t been around and it never really sunk in until today, seeing Drew and Jessie and the family. They found a beautiful statue that is going to go in the courtyard too, a ballerina to celebrate Allison’s spirit. It is beautiful.



I came home, cried, and then just passed out. I woke up at 11, and now I wont sleep for the rest of the night most likely. I am video chatting with Mikey right now, and about to enjoy my delicious toast. I talked with my mom for a long time tonight about Drew and Allison and about how they are doing. Everything has been really hard for them of course, and I just could not imagine what they are going through. They have been in my thoughts ad prayers since April 17 and they always will be.

Yet again, a Mitchell Davis video totally relates to my life.

Day 6 - Denise, Kickbacks, Rain

Today marked day four of the never ending rain. I checked Weather Channel and it is supposed to rain through the 29th. It was fun at first, but now the roads are basically just huge puddles and I do not appreciate that.

Last night I went to sleep with my window open, listening to the rain. I was out so fast, and I loved it. I woke up this morning at 8, to the rain, and my stomach was eating itself. So finally around 9:30 Jenn and I met for breakfast. I came home, got back in bed, and started to read, although I fell asleep again and didn’t wake up until about 3. Liam has been having trouble lately with school and our dad and whatnot, so he went to Denise today just to talk. I don’t really want to get into all of that here, but it was helpful. Afterwards we went to the Brick for dinner, and then I came home and went right out to dinner number 2 with Rob to Sake House. I have been spending more time with him lately and I am glad about that. It is far more frequent than other times I have been home. He gave me my birthday presents tonight, which I love. He got be an awesome flannel, which is light enough to wear in the summer, and a photo hanging thing, which he said is to only have pictures of him. Selfish Rob. Haha. The best thing by far was a new Book. Senior year we had little notebooks that we would write in and throw to each other during class, and in our lockers and for some reason we thought it was the best thing ever. So now we have a new book, and I cant wait to get started with that again.


Book and shirt.

Tonight also marked night 3 of going to Kickbacks. This time we actually ate, and I had some amazing potatoes and pasta, and Jenn said that her omelet was the best thing she had ever eaten. So I think that is a winner on the food aspect, along with social. Hoorah! In the back of their menu they have the “Vintage” section, which has things like Ramen noodles, Spaghetti-O’s, Hamburger Helper, Fluffernutter sandwiches, and a bunch more. That’s adorable ad hilarious. Even better, they have the Hamburger Helper du jour. I didn’t really do much today but it was relaxing. Tomorrow I have to get my camera fixed, since as of today it no longer opens. And I am taking Emily to the mall. In the rain. FML.

I am going to go to bed, reading with the window open yet again. This morning Jenn had big news, and she said her whole story, I commented, then presented my big news: "I slept with my window open last night." FAIL.

Last thing, Rob and I were Facebooking back and forth today with Texts From Last Night, and I accidentally posted one as my status that made me look terrible. Immediately I got texts and status comments from some creepers. It was an awesome five minutes until I realized that facebook and I were obviously not getting along. Then I cleared it but forget to delete it from my news feed, so it was still there. It was hilarious, but not the best as a status.

Facebooked TFLN:
(931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

FAIL
Also, I am still going back and watching a lot of Mitchell Davis' videos. I love this one so much.

Day 2 - TSI

Tonight was probably the worst night ever. I was the worst friend I could possibly be. My night began by taking a nice, long nap. How can you go wrong there? Then I picked up Jenn and she and I went to pick up my cousin Patrick from the airport. On the way back from the airport, we made plans to go to Rob’s party for a bit then to TSI. So I took Patrick to my house, and got ready to go to TSI. Once we were at TSI I was not in the best mood. Bad music, not many people, and it was just a weird night. I have no clue what made me so angry, but I majorly took it out on Jenn. The whole night she was trying to get me to cheer up but I wouldn’t. Her friends Adam and Clayto from Thursday night were there and we hung out with them for a bit. Adam and I talked, mainly about Jenn when she wasn’t around. Before we left he asked for my number, and about a thousand things went through my head. I know his intentions were pure, but it came off really badly. I tried to protest but I failed miserably I gave in, and gave him my number. My thought was that he wanted to talk about something we had been talking about off an on all night.

Long story short, Jenn and I got into a big fight. I acted so selfishly and stupidly and I obviously made the wrong choice not only in this situation, but in the whole night. I was ride to her all night when she did nothing at all to deserve it. I messed up so badly I cannot think of how to fix this situation. Some things were said tonight that hurt me worse than I thought imaginable, but I deserved it all. I don’t know what to do.

On a lighter, less tressful note, I took Liam to see Monsters vs Aliens today. It was cute . I was not too excited about seeing it, but there was this one part that I was cracking up in. I don;t know why, but I usually find things to be humorous, but I am always keeping it to myself, or not laughing. No idea why. I am weird. This part had be cracking up for a solid minute. The clip is most likely going to removed since the person filmed it in the theater, but I will try. I may not be as humorous out of context, but still.

After that I came home and pretty much just had a long talk with my mom. I tried to get it out about my dad and Kathleen, but I couldn't do it. I then had to go drop off Liam at my dad's, and there was this guy there who was helping him move tiles. He was only a few years older than me, but he was hitting on me in front of my dad, and even better, my dad did nothing to stop it. Ugh.

I have spent hours today watching all of livelavalive' videos. I feel like I am have a really unhealthy relationship with YouTube. I spend at least an hour every day, usually when I am trying to go t bed at night, watching videos. A good amount of time is spent watching my 90-some-odd subscriptions, then Stumbling to get more or just browsing the featured videos. that is how I found livelavalive. He is hilarious. I have watched this video multiple times today and I love it. I just need to figure out who to send it to.... Oh. You!

That is all for today. I am thankful to end this day. Goodness. I want to talk to Jenn so badly but I know if I try to will pester her and make things worse. I am the worst friend ever.