Day 6 - Denise, Kickbacks, Rain

Today marked day four of the never ending rain. I checked Weather Channel and it is supposed to rain through the 29th. It was fun at first, but now the roads are basically just huge puddles and I do not appreciate that.

Last night I went to sleep with my window open, listening to the rain. I was out so fast, and I loved it. I woke up this morning at 8, to the rain, and my stomach was eating itself. So finally around 9:30 Jenn and I met for breakfast. I came home, got back in bed, and started to read, although I fell asleep again and didn’t wake up until about 3. Liam has been having trouble lately with school and our dad and whatnot, so he went to Denise today just to talk. I don’t really want to get into all of that here, but it was helpful. Afterwards we went to the Brick for dinner, and then I came home and went right out to dinner number 2 with Rob to Sake House. I have been spending more time with him lately and I am glad about that. It is far more frequent than other times I have been home. He gave me my birthday presents tonight, which I love. He got be an awesome flannel, which is light enough to wear in the summer, and a photo hanging thing, which he said is to only have pictures of him. Selfish Rob. Haha. The best thing by far was a new Book. Senior year we had little notebooks that we would write in and throw to each other during class, and in our lockers and for some reason we thought it was the best thing ever. So now we have a new book, and I cant wait to get started with that again.


Book and shirt.

Tonight also marked night 3 of going to Kickbacks. This time we actually ate, and I had some amazing potatoes and pasta, and Jenn said that her omelet was the best thing she had ever eaten. So I think that is a winner on the food aspect, along with social. Hoorah! In the back of their menu they have the “Vintage” section, which has things like Ramen noodles, Spaghetti-O’s, Hamburger Helper, Fluffernutter sandwiches, and a bunch more. That’s adorable ad hilarious. Even better, they have the Hamburger Helper du jour. I didn’t really do much today but it was relaxing. Tomorrow I have to get my camera fixed, since as of today it no longer opens. And I am taking Emily to the mall. In the rain. FML.

I am going to go to bed, reading with the window open yet again. This morning Jenn had big news, and she said her whole story, I commented, then presented my big news: "I slept with my window open last night." FAIL.

Last thing, Rob and I were Facebooking back and forth today with Texts From Last Night, and I accidentally posted one as my status that made me look terrible. Immediately I got texts and status comments from some creepers. It was an awesome five minutes until I realized that facebook and I were obviously not getting along. Then I cleared it but forget to delete it from my news feed, so it was still there. It was hilarious, but not the best as a status.

Facebooked TFLN:
(931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

FAIL
Also, I am still going back and watching a lot of Mitchell Davis' videos. I love this one so much.

Day 5 - Regency, Cheesecake, Lame

Today was just pretty laid back. Woke up and went to with Jenn to the mall. Came back home and actually unpacked, then went to dinner with Jenn and Adam then to Kickbacks and saw Lee and Mike and Mira. That is pretty much all that I have to saw about today. Lame, right?

All the mall, Regency, Jenn realized that they closed down the Walden Books that was there. Although she just said, “I can’t believe they took out the book store. Although the people at this mall probably can’t read.” Which is so true. We had a good day today. We were together for over 24 hours straight, aside from the 4 hours where she was at work.

Liam and my mom and I have been playing board games a lot recently. Like tight we got Tijuana Flats take out for dinner, and played Apples to Apples while we ate. After dinner we played Life and read the Westing Game. I think Liam is getting into it. Although I think I am just going to go and steal it out of his room tonight and read it for a while. I can’t stand only reading a couple chapters a day. Its crazy. I love this book too much to be patient. But then again, when am I ever patient?

Tomorrow Liam goes to my dad’s house. I am afraid that my dad will tell Liam then about Kathleen. I have decided that as much as I want to tell my mom, she has to hear it from my dad first. I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. Since my parents have gotten divorced, I have been the one to relay news and questions, and I am sick of it. And it isn't right to make me do that, especially in this situation. So I guess I will just find out tomorrow what will happen. That is, if Liam even goes over there. He pitches a fit usually because he hates going over there so much. He is just bored and it’s hard for him to be there and just watch TV. Tomorrow I also have to go and take the prints over to Eileen’s. The better of the two prints has little blue dots around the hem of the dress, so I have to tackle that in the morning. As usual, I have been hoarding things for my little memory book but I have yet to put anything in, and I also have all the candy wrappers ready for my next print. Although I have been too lazy to get it started. I mean I can just do the background here. I have to wait to do the actual print part until I get back to school since I need a press. I really want to get some berens and burens and blocks and just print straight from my room, just little things that don’t need a press. Although my mother would probably freak out since I will most likely get ink all over the carpeting.

As usual, my contact is about to fall out of my eyeball so I am just going to steal Liam’s book and get to sleep. Oh and today Jenn and I realized that when we laugh, we sound like Beavis and Butthead. Not attractive.

Day 4 - Accident, Kickbacks, MC

Today was another ridiculous day. Seriously, if my days continue to be an random as the last few days, I am in for one hell of a summer. This morning began with my phone interview with a man from my internship in Miami. We talked a bit about what I will be doing this summer and whatnot. Then I worked up the nerve to IM Jenn, although I promptly fell back asleep 2 minutes later. Awesome. Around 1 Emily Risdon called and I went and picked her up at St. Marks and we got lunch and I helped her study for her exams tomorrow. We hung out for a bit, and then decided to go to Target, because that’s how we roll.

On the way back from Target, Emily and I were in the car, in the turn lane on Roosevelt getting ready t turn left onto Longbow. There was a car in front of us and one other coming in the opposite direction. The light was green, and the car in front of us had plenty of time to turn, although he just wouldn’t go. When the car coming in the opposite direction was getting ready to pass through the intersection he went, and they smashed together. I felt like he timed it just so they would collide. Immediately Emily and I got out in the rain and called 911. The man who stupidly drove into the intersection was really old, and is car was wedged between two electric poles, making the stoplights go out. The woman who he hit has 3 children in the car, and the eldest girl in the front seat was hurt. We waited around for the police and rescue to come, and then we had to stay and talk to them for a while. I think every one was okay, but it was still scary.



Later on I just spent time with my mom and Liam, we played Life and read the Westing game, which is one of my favorite books ever. Liam doesn’t seem to be too enthused, but I am trying to get him excited about it.

Jenn and I hung out all night, which I am excited about. The endless stomachache is over. Hoorah! First we went to Starbucks in Five Points and I spilled scalding hot tea all over myself, and almost died. Well, I would have lived, but I almost cried. MC came over from where he works at the Sushi Café and hi boss eventually came over too. We took MacBook pictures, and MC acted like it was Christmas morning. He was elated.



From there, we went to Kickbacks, thinking it would just be a stop before heading to Shanty Town, but we ended up being there until after 2. We met a bunch of nice guys and hung out with them. It turned out to be an awesome night. I am exhausted now, and Jenn is sleeping over so I am just going to leave this as the worst post ever.

Day 3 - PVB, Rob, Jason, Emma

I am going to refer to today as "The Day of the Massive Stomach Ache." All day I was thinking about last night and everything that happened, and feeling terrible. I did not talk to Jenn at all, even though I wanted to text her so bad. I feel like that would just make things worse.

This morning I woke up to my Mom making me pancakes, which was wonderful. We went out to Ponte Vedra with Liam for the day, and met up with my grandmother and my cousin Patrick at my aunt's house. We pretty much just sat around and talked, and I had a really long talk with Granny Franny about Sweet Briar. I have decided (more like accepted) that I am miserable there. I realized today when I was talking to Granny about it, that it is a good fit academically, just not socially. I am not going to transfer, but I have been thinking a lot more about graduate school. Working at the hospital this summer will be good, because if it turns out to be something I enjoy, it would be a field I could easily go into right out of school. I want/need to get an MBA, although I will get my Masters and Doctorate in Art History before I am 50. That is my ultimate goal in life. How cool would it be to have a doctorate in Contemporary Art? That is what I would love to do. I love my grandmother so much, and talking to her makes me realize things and sort my thoughts.

We went to the Town Center for lunch and shopping. At Barnes and Noble I got my favorite magazines ever, as well as a new one called FOUND that I uh.... found. I haven’t really looked at it yet but it looks pretty cool. I will be up all night tonight reading that, Artforum, and Art on Paper.

For my birthday my mom got me a gift card to get a new iPhone since mine is a piece of crap and falling apart. Although when I went in my friends there told me to wait a while before I get a new one since there may be a new phone coming out this summer. So me and my good friend Cherry Darling will be sticking together for a bit longer. I guess that’s good, because I still hadn’t thought of a new name for my new phone. My phone now is Cherry Darling (Planet Terror), my Kindle is Dr. Dakota Block (also Planet Terror) and my iPod is Frankenstein. So I will think about that for a while.

I spent some time with Rob tonight, and it was different than it has been for a while. I think a lot about my senior year and how Rob and I spent every moment together, and I really miss that. And tonight it didn't feel forced like it does sometimes. We about peed ourselves when lightning hit right by his house right before we were going to go to the Loop for dinner. (I just realized I left my cup in my car and I am really thirsty....) I got my food and as always, the first thing he did was take a huge bite out of one of my chicken fingers. Although this time it scalded his mouth and the chicken along with a line of slobber fell from his mouth. Just as it happened a women walked in the door and watched the whole thing happen. She just shook her head and laughed, which made the whole situation about a thousand times funnier. After dinner our first thought was "Krispy Kreme," of course. We then discovered the hot sign is on until 10 now, which was thrilling.

After I left Rob's I went to the beach and hung out with Jason for a little bit. It was rainy and gross and the only thing we could figure out to do was to walk on the beach for a while. I felt bad because he has a broken toe and the sand was wet and hard to walk on, but he was a good sport about it. I wasn’t out there very long, and I was driving back home I realized that I hadn’t seen Emma yet, so I called her and met her at the Casbah with two of her friends. That sentence was unnecessarily long. I was there with her for about an hour and I think I am going to do something with her tomorrow.

In the last few days, I have realized something really odd about myself. I guess I realized it a long time ago, but it has been confirmed. I am an observer. In any given situation, I would much rather observe than partake. Like the other night at TSI, I would rather people watch than dance or socialize. I think this is the main thing that makes me so socially awkward. I am fine with that though. It may be part of my creative and artsy side that makes me do it, because I like to image these people’s lives and what they will do when they go home. I wish I could be invisible. I would go out so much and just watch people, never partaking in any of the activities, just observe. I don’t feel like this is creepy in the least bit, because I am not staring and watching, just observing and noting things. Alright that is even creepier.

Overall I had a decent day, but I had this nagging stomach ache all day, thinking about last night. No matter what I was doing, or how hard I was laughing at Rob in pain, I could not get last night out of my head. I have to fix this. I have a phone conference tomorrow morning at 9:30 (I feel so grown up) so I am going to get to sleep. No plans other than that tomorrow for the most part.

Day 2 - TSI

Tonight was probably the worst night ever. I was the worst friend I could possibly be. My night began by taking a nice, long nap. How can you go wrong there? Then I picked up Jenn and she and I went to pick up my cousin Patrick from the airport. On the way back from the airport, we made plans to go to Rob’s party for a bit then to TSI. So I took Patrick to my house, and got ready to go to TSI. Once we were at TSI I was not in the best mood. Bad music, not many people, and it was just a weird night. I have no clue what made me so angry, but I majorly took it out on Jenn. The whole night she was trying to get me to cheer up but I wouldn’t. Her friends Adam and Clayto from Thursday night were there and we hung out with them for a bit. Adam and I talked, mainly about Jenn when she wasn’t around. Before we left he asked for my number, and about a thousand things went through my head. I know his intentions were pure, but it came off really badly. I tried to protest but I failed miserably I gave in, and gave him my number. My thought was that he wanted to talk about something we had been talking about off an on all night.

Long story short, Jenn and I got into a big fight. I acted so selfishly and stupidly and I obviously made the wrong choice not only in this situation, but in the whole night. I was ride to her all night when she did nothing at all to deserve it. I messed up so badly I cannot think of how to fix this situation. Some things were said tonight that hurt me worse than I thought imaginable, but I deserved it all. I don’t know what to do.

On a lighter, less tressful note, I took Liam to see Monsters vs Aliens today. It was cute . I was not too excited about seeing it, but there was this one part that I was cracking up in. I don;t know why, but I usually find things to be humorous, but I am always keeping it to myself, or not laughing. No idea why. I am weird. This part had be cracking up for a solid minute. The clip is most likely going to removed since the person filmed it in the theater, but I will try. I may not be as humorous out of context, but still.

After that I came home and pretty much just had a long talk with my mom. I tried to get it out about my dad and Kathleen, but I couldn't do it. I then had to go drop off Liam at my dad's, and there was this guy there who was helping him move tiles. He was only a few years older than me, but he was hitting on me in front of my dad, and even better, my dad did nothing to stop it. Ugh.

I have spent hours today watching all of livelavalive' videos. I feel like I am have a really unhealthy relationship with YouTube. I spend at least an hour every day, usually when I am trying to go t bed at night, watching videos. A good amount of time is spent watching my 90-some-odd subscriptions, then Stumbling to get more or just browsing the featured videos. that is how I found livelavalive. He is hilarious. I have watched this video multiple times today and I love it. I just need to figure out who to send it to.... Oh. You!

That is all for today. I am thankful to end this day. Goodness. I want to talk to Jenn so badly but I know if I try to will pester her and make things worse. I am the worst friend ever.

Day 1 - Pearl, TSI, Dad

I feel like this summer is going to be.... interesting. This is going to sound really pathetic, but I have been following Charles Trippy, Shay Carl, and Phillip DeFranco while they have been doing their daily video blogs. I was just watching Shay's from yesterday and I was thinking, "It's nice that he has this to look back on one day." I used to blog, doing the lame 9th grade LiveJournal thing, and recently I went back and read it. It was absolutely hilarious, and it made me feel like a complete loser. Although it was nice to go back through and read what my life was like then.

Today was my first full day of summer. I just completed by sophomore year of college, and my life is going through some changes. I feel like this summer will be stressful and different, and I want to remember it later on.

Last night, which was technically Day 1, but I was only in Jacksonville for a few hours, I think laid out how my summer is going to go. I got back into Jacksonville at about 6:00. It was raining, of course. My mom met me half way between here and Virginia in Columbia and we stayed the night there and went shopping yesterday before coming back down here. So I get home and unpack my car with the majority of my stuff. My mom gets home and she gets a call from one of our old neighbors, Mrs. Hager. Apparently the Hagers have been staking out my dad's house for some time. (They live down the road, and they have a perfect view of dad's house from their house) Mrs. Hager told my mom that, apparently, my dad's girlfriend Kathleen had been living there for a while. My mom was curious, so she sent me over there to check it out. I have always acted as the Middle Man between my parents since they got divorced. Its always "Will you tell your mother that..." "Take this over to your fathers...." I am getting sick of it. Although last night I was quite curious.

I got over there and Kathleen's car was in the driveway. I knocked, and Lilly started barking so I just went on it. I was greeted with the scene of my childhood playroom ripped to shreds. There was no carpet, no furniture; the walls were about a thousand different colors. Awesome Dad, thanks for telling me about this. When I pulled up I had a hint that something was up, because one of my favorite chairs was outside in the rain by the trash. I was not too pleased. Anyways, so Lilly is barking and can hear Kathleen yelling to see who was at the door. I yelled "Me!" thinking, for some reason, she would know. Of course not. I have met the woman twice. She was even sort of confused when she saw me. I was like, "Its Kate..." And I realized she was wearing a shirt of mine. Awesome. Turns out she was on the phone with my dad, who was in Baldwin, driving back from a meeting out of town and that he was going to be home in about 20 minutes. She gave me her phone to talk to him for a bit, and then she left the room. I was sitting at the bar and talking on her phone, and I was just looking around the room.

Then it caught my eye. A greeting card, displayed proudly on the bar. It was a simple and white, with the image of a man picking up and swinging a woman in a circle. The text read, "You're engaged!" Not wanting to touch it, viewing it as some heinous object, I peered around to read the inside. "Steve and Kathleen, Congratulations on your engagement! We are so happy for both of you! Love, Janette and Buzz." My stomach fell. I was still on the phone with my dad but his voice was distant and I wasn't paying attention anymore. Tears welled up in my eyes, and just then Kathleen came back. I sucked it up and tried not to think about it. I gave her the phone back, and she sat down to talk until my dad would come home. We started to talk about the family room, and "their" future plans for it. The card was still in my line of vision and I couldn't help but think about it. The tears came back, and she interpreted it as me being upset about the family room. I tried to tell her it wasn't, but I realized I had to ask. I pointed to the card as I really started to cry, and she just grabbed it and said, "Oh shit." Impulsively I looked at her ring finger and was glad to see that there was nothing there. She went on to explain that he wanted to tell me, and that was why he wanted to see me so badly when I was last in town about a month ago. She said that in September he took her up to Wisconsin to meet his family. I remember him taking that trip. He never mentioned that she was there or even why he went. She told me that he was always upset with him because towards me, he would pretend like she didn’t exist. We talked for a while about things, and I was almost bawling. I hate this. I have met her now three times. They have apparently been dating for five years this November. Which means that they met right after my parents separated.

To understand why this bothers me so much, I guess background on my dad is needed. Towards my mom and I, he has never been affectionate. Obviously in different ways. He has never been one to express emotions, or to make a commitment. So I was completely shocked that he is engaged. I don’t know how this is going to work out. I feel like it is going to be one of those things where they get engaged but never actually get married. I hope. I do not want a step mom. Even though I am 20 and I will never spend any time with her, I don’t want that for my brother. He absolutely hates going over to my dad’s, and this would just make it worse. Although according to my parent’s divorce settlement, if there is any communal living the children are not required to spend time with the other parent. So if she moves in, Liam doesn’t have to go over there anymore. He will be thrilled about hat though.

She says that once they get married (if) they wont even live together. What the hell? Basically what happened is that her lease on her house was up, and she was going to move away to be with her grand kids (GRAND. KIDS.). She told my dad, he freaked, and asked her to marry him so that she wouldn’t leave. I feel like that was just him being selfish. I know my dad, because unfortunately I took after him in asshole behavior traits. He does love her, but that does not trump his feelings about commitment and emotions and whatnot. I feel like he asked her to marry him so that she wouldn’t leave him. I guess it is good that he has someone there for him, with his health and Liam hating being over there, it’s a good positive, but I don’t feel like his motives were correct. Anyways, she got another house since she had to move out, so she has somewhere she is required t live, basically, for the next 2 years. And my dad sure as hell is not moving. So they wont live together? I don’t know. That’s just weird. But that is my dad for you.

So my dad came home just as I was getting ready to leave. I was not up for having the same conversation with him, and I really had to get home because I was supposed to go out. He walked in, and I was avoiding eye contact. I don’t remember if Kathleen said something, or if I did, but when he found out I knew he was angry. He started yelling at me, trying to make me feel bad for not seeing him when I was last home, and for never returning his calls. So it is my fault that he hid it from me? I didn’t see him when I was last here because usually we just go out to dinner and sit around awkwardly while I am left to feel like he is only there because he has to spend time with me. I don’t want to be there either though. So on my last trip home I avoided that.

Before I left I asked him when he was going to tell Liam and my mom. He said he would tell Liam this weekend, since now I know. And he was going to let telling my mom up to me. That pissed me off. I told him that no way in hell would I be the one to tell her and that HE had to do it. Needless to say, he was not thrilled. I left then to go home and eat dinner and get ready to go out. I had to put on a happy face and tell my mom that Kathleen was not living there and she was just watching Lilly, which was the truth. I had to sit and have a happy dinner with her and Liam, and pretend like nothing was wrong.

Anyways, later Jenn and I went out. It was kind of awkward at first, and I was in a bad mood and I felt bad that I made Jenn miss something she wanted to do since I was running late due to the hour I was at my dad’s house. We got past that and had dinner at Sushi Café where MC made Jenn some awesome sushi. After that we went to her friend Adam’s house and I drank alone before we went to the Pearl. We got to the Pearl and Adam was in the longest line ever to get in. So we went in the back and Adam was too impatient and left. Last night the Pearl was interesting. There was a weird mix of people. Although Jaclynn was there and I was finally able to say some things to her I have wanted to tell her for a very long time. I feel better now. This guy I met at TSI at the Black and White ball was there too, but of course I didn’t have the nerve to go and talk to him. We left early and went to TSI to hang out with Adam and Clayto for a bit. They were both very drunk and the place was empty. Jenn and I absolutely wowed them with our dancing skills on the stage. More like we pretended to be ballerinas and they pretended were too drunk to pay attention. Jenn and I left and enjoyed some 4 AM Wa-Ho where this were some hilarious people. As we were leaving we were stopped by this guy who asked us if we sang for the B-52s, and I said that I used to but I haven’t lately. Funny thing is that I saw the same guy, in black bike shorts and a camo jacket riding a bike through my neighborhood today. Odd.

Today, which I am going to call Day 1, was lazy as anything. Laid around all day, then I went to help my dad buy tile. Hoorah. We really didn’t talk about Kathleen or anything and it was awkward. When I got home from doing that my mom was in a funny mood. I still don’t know why. We went to dinner with the Whelans, and in the middle of dinner Mrs. Hager called my mo and they talked for a minute, and my mom was saying things like “No I’m fine” and whatnot. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on, but she wouldn’t say.

So now I have a predicament. Do I tell my mom or not? I feel like it is not my place to tell her, yet again she may get her feelings hurt if she finds out that I knew and I was hiding it from her. I know she won’t be upset that he is getting married; at least I don’t think so. I feel like the part that will hurt is that my asshole of a father found someone before she did. My mother is an amazing and beautiful woman, and is somehow single. I feel bad because she kind of dated this one guy a few years ago, but I was uncomfortable with it and told her she could do better, and she broke it off with him. I feel that my selfish, dad-like intentions in that situation kind of screwed her over. And I feel really guilty about that. Hopefully tomorrow I will figure out what to do: tell her or not to tell her?

I am going to try extra hard to be nicer to Liam this summer. I asked him to go see a movie with me tomorrow, and we are going to see Monsters and Aliens. Also he is glad about this because it is less time that he has to spend at my dad’s house. Liam has been having a hard time lately, and acting out, and my mom really does not need this. I am going to try to help with straightening him out a bit. I am trying, but who knows how that will work out.

Tomorrow Liam has a baseball game in the morning and my dad may be there, and if so, that will be awkward. I am hoping he doesn’t show.

Day 1 of summer has been odd so far. We will see how this pans out. Right now, however, I am going to get something to eat with Jarrett. I was planning on going to Steamworks tonight but I guess I am not going. This was really long, I hope every day isn't like this.